I can remember a solar eclipse when I was a kid. We were warned not to look directly at the sun, but to use a pinhole in a box to see the shadow of the eclipse. Now, in less than a week, we are going to see a total solar eclipse—a once in a lifetime event.
So how this weird happening is going to shake out remains to be seen. I live in the area of totality. That means I can observe the eclipse in my own backyard. It also means that some of my relatives who live outside the area of totality are going to share in the experience by coming to my house. That is, if the roads aren’t gridlocked with the thousands of folks from the four corners of the United States who plan to flock to the area of totality.
Watching the eclipse isn’t something you do on the spur of the moment. If you plan to look at the eclipse, you must have proper eyewear. Before we ordered ours, Harold researched the ISO ratings, reputation of the seller, and recommendations from the brightest minds in the world. His vigilance paid off since our glasses were not among those “recalled” due to being questionable.
All this talk about eclipses reminds me of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” I visualize a total eclipse of the heart as a heart that is beyond broken--a heart with a shadow hanging over it.
Some events in our lives can hurt our hearts seemingly beyond repair. When we lose a loved one to an accident, to incurable disease, or from suicide, life ceases to be the same. During the total eclipse of the heart, it seems that life will always hurt.
I can’t think of anything sadder than losing a child or a grandchild. As hard as it was for me to lose Jim to dementia, I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking it was for my mother-in-law. Our sons were grown when Jim developed dementia, but younger onset dementia or familial Alzheimer’s disease can often leave school aged children without a parent.
In the United States, 15.9 million unpaid caregivers provide care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. Caregiving for a loved one with dementia is more labor intensive than for seniors without dementia. About a quarter of the caregivers responding to a survey reported they provided 41 or more hours of care a week. Caring for a loved one with dementia is often a long-term commitment. According to the NIH and aging trends study, 47.4% provided care for more than six years.
Investing the time and energy to provide quality care for a loved one with dementia is the ultimate act of love. Caregiving becomes a way of life and when that ends, emptiness fills the space.
The concept that love can be a total eclipse of the heart takes on additional meaning when you learn more about a total eclipse. The world, as we know it, is transformed into a strange place when darkness falls in the middle of the day and the temperature drops dramatically.
Time becomes your friend as you rebuild your life. Much like the total eclipse, the shadow gradually moves away and the world is bright and normal again. A new normal, but normal.
Copyright © August 2017 by L.S. Fisher