Simon and Garfunkel’s song “The Sounds
of Silence” always touched me. When I heard the cover performed by Disturbed,
it made me hear the lyrics in a different context—a more urgent one. The same
words performed in a different manner brought a new dimension to the song and
made me pay attention to parts of it that just blended into the background
before.
The haunting lyrics of “The Sounds
of Silence” make me think of how Jim’s voice was silenced with aphasia during
his years with dementia. His problems began with just a few jumbled words until
his voice was stilled except for an occasional word. When a spoken word broke through
the boundary of silence, it was as treasured as a rare jewel.
Mostly, Jim learned to talk without
speaking, without words. His mannerisms became the clues that told us of his
needs. His eyes communicated his pleasure, pain, joy, confusion, and a myriad
of emotions.
Jim always said he knew me better
than I knew myself, and I believe that was the key to our communication.
Instinctively, he knew how to get his point across.
Communicating with a loved one who
has Alzheimer’s requires some thought. When you consider that only about 7% of
communication is from words, it opens many possibilities.
1.
Speak in simple, straight-forward sentences and give
only one instruction at a time. If I ever asked Jim to do two things in one
sentence, he only reacted to the second request.
2.
Patience is your friend! Allow time for a response. Don’t
expect a quick response, or even an appropriate one.
3.
Use body language to get your point across. Your loved
one will understand tone of voice and body language long beyond the time when
they understand your words. Point, demonstrate, or use props. Also, watch your
loved one’s body language. Restlessness, irritability, and other physical
symptoms will alert you to their distress.
4.
Validate the emotions you see and hear. Their reaction
to something might be completely different from yours, or even what you would
expect theirs to be. They may re-live grief over and over, or may not acknowledge
there is anything to grieve even when a close relative dies.
Throughout life, we communicate—from
a baby’s cry, parenting, learning in school, to our last profound words. Life
is more complicated and confusing when we lose our lifelong ability to communicate
effectively.
Communication isn’t easy when your
loved one has dementia, but putting in the effort to keep the lines of
communication open will help your loved one and you maintain a happier relationship.
Loving words, hugs, and smiles will convey your deepest feelings. When you
listen with your heart, the sounds of silence will tell you everything you need
to know.
Copyright
© December 2015 by L.S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
No comments:
Post a Comment