I walked to the
mailbox a few days ago and noticed that our apple tree had some apples on it.
Isn’t that what apple trees are supposed to do? Well, yes, but our apple tree
had served as chow for the Japanese beetles again this year. Last year, the
tree didn’t have any apples when the beetles finished eating the blossoms and
made lace out of its leaves.
The apples seemed
to me to be a symbol of strength. They had faced potential destruction, but
they survived.
I’ve heard people
say you never know how strong you can be until being strong is the only option.
Sometimes, people surprise me. I knew a shy, timid woman who when faced with a
life-threatening disease showed amazing strength through a series of
disappointing doctor reports. I’ve also known people who give up at the first
sign of a problem, and dissolve into a lengthy pity party.
Alzheimer’s caregivers
are, for the most part, notoriously strong people. Caregiving can be
overwhelming, frustrating, and extremely saddening. Losing a loved one to a
relentless, incurable disease is life changing for the family. The person
hardest hit is the one responsible for the well-being of the person with
dementia.
A caregiver has to
work her way through the grief and pick up the pieces of a life that has fallen
apart. He has to make a conscious choice to be strong and choose quality of
life over quantity. She has to make the tough decisions about finances, healthcare,
and personal safety. It takes strength to survive, and super powers to thrive.
Life after dementia
becomes difficult, but not impossible. It is important to take advantage of the
early stages to continue living life as normally as possible. Keep up
activities that you and your loved one enjoy.
Jim and I used to
enjoy playing pitch. Uncle Johnny and I played Jim and Aunt Nita. They were
wild and crazy bidders and beat us on a regular basis. At first, Jim could
still play cards, but when it became too difficult for him, his mom helped him
decide which cards to keep and when to play them. With her help, he was able to
enjoy the game long after he would have had to quit.
I even tried to
play Super Mario Karts with him, but he laughed at me when I got my kart turned
around backwards and told me, “You’re going the wrong way!” As if I hadn’t
figured that out on my own. I just couldn’t seem to get my hands coordinated
with my eyes.
Any day you can put
your cares aside and recapture joyfulness is a good day. It may be harder to
have fun than it would be to sink into despair, but it is well worth the effort.
When adversity
attacks our lives, we have to decide if we are going to be a leaf or an apple.
Copyright © Aug 2018 by L.S. Fisher
#ENDALZ
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