I stopped by Arby’s
one night last week and ordered the usual: regular roast beef, turkey ranch
& bacon sandwich, and curly fries. “One Arby’s sauce. That’s it,” I said to
indicate I didn’t want any drinks. He read the order back to me and at the end
he said, “a root beer.”
I wasn’t sure what
I’d said that he interpreted as “root beer” but I had to laugh. It just struck
me as funny that he heard something that I hadn’t said at all.
After I got home, I
saw a graphic on Facebook that said, “Yanny or Laurel” which do you hear? Well,
I gave it a listen and didn’t hear either word. I heard “Yammy.” Later, I saw
two other people who heard “Yammy.”
“I guess we march
to the sound of a different drum,” I wrote beneath the original post. Later, I read
an explanation—it depends on which tones an individual hears best, the speakers
on your electronic devise, and the acoustics of the room. As an experiment, I
had my husband listen to the special word. Both of us were listening at the
same time. He heard “laurel.” I heard “Yammy.”
To me this
experiment explains a lot. Is this the reason that people hear completely
different things? For example, you listen to a speech. One person thinks it’s
great and another person hears the flaws. One person hears a profound
statement, and another hears nonsense. Okay, so this may not have to do with
one person hearing “yanny” and another hearing “laurel,” but in another way it is
similar. How we perceive speech is as individual as each person who is
listening.
This one word may
provide some insight into how a person with dementia might hear something
totally different from the words we say to them. Think about it. If two people
can listen to the same sound, but hear different words, how much more confusing
would the sound of words be to a person with a disease that affects his brain?
Communicating with
a loved one who has Alzheimer’s is challenging. Because words may become
difficult, tone of voice and body language are vital to good communication with
a loved one.
Although disputed
by some, Albert Mehrabian’s study of communication is sometimes called the “rule
of seven.” His study indicated that only seven percent of communication is
verbal, while fifty-five percent is body language, and thirty-eight percent is
tone of voice.
Regardless of
whether you really believe the rule of seven in normal communications, I would
agree that it certainly applies to a person with dementia. When words begin to
fail, other forms of communication are essential so that the person
understands you. Tone of voice and facial expressions convey your thoughts and
emotions more effectively than words alone.
Hearing a
mechanical voice say this special word could be a breakthrough in the art of
communication if we allow it to be. Some people say the argument is “silly,”
and I’ll have to agree to get in a heated argument over how the word sounds to
you is silly. It can be a valuable reminder that people don’t always hear
exactly what we say even accounting for those who are hard of hearing, or have
selective hearing. Even at seven percent, verbal communication is overrated if
your loved one has dementia.
Copyright © May 2018
by L.S. Fisher
#ENDALZ
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