Unlikely Friendships

You’ve always heard of fighting like dogs and cats, so Harold was concerned when the stray kitten showed up on our doorstep. It was a little worse for wear: tail torn off and bloody back legs. The kitten was dehydrated and hungry. What else can you do when a teeny kitten refuses to leave, but just sits there mewing much louder than you’d think possible?

Enter Neptune into the household ruled by Lucy. Just a short year before, Lucy had wormed her way into our hearts in the exact same manner—a stray who took up residence.

Harold was worried that Lucy wouldn’t like the cat. I introduced them by letting them touch noses, and they had many staring contests. The cat stayed on the front porch, and Lucy was queen of the deck.

Cats being curious, Neptune eventually approached the deck. At first, the dog barked and Neptune backed away. That didn’t last long. Soon Neptune was darting in front of Lucy and scooting behind the grill.

“The cat shouldn’t be on the deck,” Harold said as he shooed Neptune away. A few minutes later, the cat slid through the rail to venture on the deck again.

After a few weeks, Lucy quit barking at the cat and they declared a truce. The cat took over Lucy’s bed, and Lucy would lie beside it and nose Neptune. Sometimes they got a little rowdy, but neither seemed to be scared of the other.

While I was gone to the Alzheimer’s Forum, Harold said, “The cat is going to have to go. They mock fight and one of them is going to get hurt.” I don’t believe he was worried so much about Lucy hurting Neptune as he was about Neptune scratching Lucy.

By the time I got home, he had to show me how they acted. When he took Lucy for a walk in the backyard, the cat went down the steps side-by-side with the dog. Then, the cat ran up a tree, only to sidle down and launch a sneak attack.

All was quiet when we were inside. On the surveillance camera, we saw them lying together on the same chair while four other chairs remained unoccupied. Now, Lucy prances about each morning anxious to go onto the deck to play with her unlikely friend.

 

It seems that throughout life, we all have unlikely friends. At the Forum each year, I look forward to spending quality time with my two friends, Kathy Siggins and Sarah Harris. It’s an unlikely friendship when you consider that Sarah lives in Virginia, Kathy in Maryland, and I live in Missouri. Our friendship is never diminished from spending time away and when we meet at the Forum, we haven’t missed a beat. The Forum is like a special homecoming of the heart.

We all lost our husbands to an Alzheimer’s type of dementia. We met at the Forum and had an immediate connection. Now, it would be hard to imagine my life without them.

These serendipitous friendships are promises that nothing is really random. No matter what happens, we will meet the people we are supposed to meet and fulfill the purpose we were born to accomplish.

“If it hadn’t been for Alzheimer’s,” Sarah said, “we would have never met.” This is an undeniable truth. Our adversities defined our strengths and shaped our souls allowing us to embrace our unlikely friendship.

Copyright © April 2015 by L.S. Fisher

http://earlyonset.blogspot

Friends Indeed

For some reason the phrase, “A friend in need is a friend indeed” has been on my mind all week. Odd, that a saying I cannot recall ever using in my life should be echoing through my brain nonstop.

I suppose many things could have triggered this thought. It could have been the news story of three women who forged a bond during a decade of captivity. Or it could have been the finalists on American Idol who seemed to value friendship over winning the title. Although, my DVR kicked off during the final moments, I later saw a picture of a frozen moment of time—Kree, with a look of pure joy, turned toward a stunned Candace. Maybe part of it could be tuning in to re-runs of Golden Girls and seeing the interaction between Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy—friends who fuss, fight, banter, and insult each other but still love each other.

These fascinating events could have been the impetus behind my obsession about the nuances of friendship, but I think it was more personal than that. I have been blessed with the gift of abundant friendship from some truly amazing men and women. My friendship list, and not the one on Facebook, reads like the Who’s Who of Friends Indeed.

My first friends are made up of family and co-workers. Over the past fifteen years, I’ve greatly widened my circle of friends by giving time to groups, clubs, and organizations. I’ve become friends with like-minded people I would never have met otherwise.

Although, I would love to honor all my friends, I’ve decided to limit it to one handsome southern gentleman and three women I met during my first Alzheimer’s advocacy visit to Washington, D.C. Ralph and I were party crashers at a reception for executive directors. We were board members who had come to the forum and didn’t know anyone besides the executive directors of our chapters. He and I wound up exploring the Capitol city and became fast friends. Ralph declared himself to be the oldest advocate, but he knew he had to do everything he could for his lovely wife.

In the first plenary session, a woman with smooth brown hair framing her face stood up to talk about her husband who had early onset Alzheimer’s. She echoed my own concerns that not enough was being done to find a cure, and that if one came, it was probably going to be too late. I understood her pain and heartbreak. When the session ended, I made my way through the crowd of people and introduced myself to Jane. It was like finding a long lost friend.

Later that first year, I met two more women, Kathy and Sarah. Kathy had a winning smile and flashing eyes. Sarah, slim and trim, was beautiful inside and out. We four women, plus Ralph, became inseparable. We had the bond of being caregivers for spouses with Alzheimer’s, and after sharing the heartbreak and sadness, we often regaled each other with humorous stories. The one thing we all had in common was a wacky sense of humor.

Just like in the movies, we met at the same place, same time each year at the forum. Sometimes we shared a few emails between, but it seemed as if the forum was our special time, our sister/brotherhood time. Each year was a reunion of heart friends.

Jane and I roomed together a few times. In our down time, we spent time people watching and making up stories about them. “See that woman in the slinky dress and high heels? She’s on her way to meet a lover.” Another year, we stood watch over the building across the street that had suspicious activity every night. Big limos parked in front of it and random lights came on in offices. “Spies!” we decided. We spent so much time together that some people thought I was from New York too. When the New York group bought tickets to a play at Ford’s Theatre, Jane insisted they buy one for her roommate.

Time passed and our reunions were sobered by death as we lost our spouses, one by one. Then one year Jane didn’t come. A few years later, Ralph didn’t come. Now Kathy, Sarah, and I meet each year with hugs, laughter, and tears. They each hold a special place in my heart, and I am so thankful to know them. We are friends indeed and our love for each other surpasses the bounds of time and distance.

Copyright © May 2013 by L.S. Fisher

http://earlyonset.blogspot.com