The Book of Love

 

The Monotones 1958 Doo-Wop song, “The Book of Love,” breaks love into chapters. It also poses the question as to who wrote the book of love.

I like the idea of chapters of love because each of us has several chapters in our love story, or more likely stories. The person who finds true love on their first attempt is rare indeed.

My chapters are different from the song, and may exceed four.

 

Chapter One: Learning to Love. We come into this world ready to love. Our first love is usually our mother, or possibly our father. When we start meeting other children, we fall in and out of love with friends and the cute kid in first grade. Throughout our lives, we will develop several crushes, or puppy love, that we may change as often as we do our clothes.

Chapter Two: Looking for Romantic Love.  Different people begin this quest at different times of their life. Sometimes heartbreak ensues when one person is ready for romantic love and the other person isn’t. Without enough experience, some people don’t realize that the relationship is doomed. People move in and out of our lives, and their impact on our romantic interest often diminishes due to time and distance.

Chapter Three: The Love Connection. After failure and heartbreak, or simply apathy, we know that special love when we find it. It may come soon after meeting someone that you find an instant connection, or it may be a long-term friendship that flared into romance through an accidental touch of hands. People find love in strange and unusual ways. Some people “fall” in love and some people “grow” into love.

Chapter Four: For Better or Worse. When a couple decides to pledge the rest of their lives through marriage, they usually begin the relationship built on high hopes. Fairy tales and Hallmark movies lead us to believe that we will be the happily ever after couple. Love is easy during the “better” times, but when we hit the “worse” we move into the hard part of marriage. Some people can’t handle the stress of financial problems, the reality of seeing another at his worse, being shattered by broken trust, dealing with addiction and/or mental health issues, or lack of prioritizing the relationship.

Chapter Five: In Sickness and in Health. We all treasure our health, but circumstances can test our love and resolve during times of sickness. It takes a strong relationship to power through a serious illness, especially when one partner becomes a caregiver for the other. In Jim’s case, he developed dementia at 49 and for ten years I was his caregiver. Our mutual love turned into unconditional love as he turned inward and could not reciprocate my feelings. I believe my love became stronger, and I became as protective of him as he once was of me.

Chapter Six: The End and Beginning. Not all long-term relationships make it to the finish line. Living with another person is difficult and requires an ongoing commitment to survive the various challenges. Relationships that end in separation or divorce can leave one or both partners with unresolved feelings. Some marriages make it to the “until death do us part” ending. When the relationship is permanently severed, the end will result in new beginnings. The new beginning may be another relationship, or time alone to heal from the loss of a loved one. How to handle grief is different for every person. There is no magic timeline when grief becomes manageable.

Conclusion: Who Wrote the Book of Love? I’m confident that we all write our book of love. Once we find true and abiding love, we co-author the book of love. Hopefully, we both come to the same conclusion.

 

Copyright © February 2026 by L. S. Fisher

http://earlyonset.blogspot.com

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