The Monotones 1958 Doo-Wop song, “The Book of Love,”
breaks love into chapters. It also poses the question as to who wrote the book
of love.
I like the idea of chapters of love because each
of us has several chapters in our love story, or more likely stories. The
person who finds true love on their first attempt is rare indeed.
My chapters are different from the song, and may
exceed four.
Chapter One: Learning to Love. We come into
this world ready to love. Our first love is usually our mother, or possibly our
father. When we start meeting other children, we fall in and out of love with
friends and the cute kid in first grade. Throughout our lives, we will develop
several crushes, or puppy love, that we may change as often as we do our
clothes.
Chapter Two: Looking for Romantic Love. Different people begin this quest at
different times of their life. Sometimes heartbreak ensues when one person is
ready for romantic love and the other person isn’t. Without enough experience, some
people don’t realize that the relationship is doomed. People move in and out of
our lives, and their impact on our romantic interest often diminishes due to
time and distance.
Chapter Three: The Love Connection. After
failure and heartbreak, or simply apathy, we know that special love when we
find it. It may come soon after meeting someone that you find an instant
connection, or it may be a long-term friendship that flared into romance
through an accidental touch of hands. People find love in strange and unusual
ways. Some people “fall” in love and some people “grow” into love.
Chapter Four: For Better or Worse. When a
couple decides to pledge the rest of their lives through marriage, they usually
begin the relationship built on high hopes. Fairy tales and Hallmark
movies lead us to believe that we will be the happily ever after couple. Love
is easy during the “better” times, but when we hit the “worse” we move into the
hard part of marriage. Some people can’t handle the stress of financial
problems, the reality of seeing another at his worse, being shattered by broken
trust, dealing with addiction and/or mental health issues, or lack of
prioritizing the relationship.
Chapter Five: In Sickness and in Health. We
all treasure our health, but circumstances can test our love and resolve during
times of sickness. It takes a strong relationship to power through a serious
illness, especially when one partner becomes a caregiver for the other. In Jim’s
case, he developed dementia at 49 and for ten years I was his caregiver. Our
mutual love turned into unconditional love as he turned inward and could not reciprocate
my feelings. I believe my love became stronger, and I became as protective of
him as he once was of me.
Chapter Six: The End and Beginning. Not all
long-term relationships make it to the finish line. Living with another person
is difficult and requires an ongoing commitment to survive the various
challenges. Relationships that end in separation or divorce can leave one or
both partners with unresolved feelings. Some marriages make it to the “until
death do us part” ending. When the relationship is permanently severed, the end
will result in new beginnings. The new beginning may be another relationship,
or time alone to heal from the loss of a loved one. How to handle grief is
different for every person. There is no magic timeline when grief becomes manageable.
Conclusion: Who Wrote the Book of Love? I’m
confident that we all write our book of love. Once we find true and abiding
love, we co-author the book of love. Hopefully, we both come to the same
conclusion.
Copyright © February 2026 by L. S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
#ENDALZ
