When I woke up this morning, my thoughts didn’t turn to what I should do on this cold Saturday morning. Oh, no, a blast from the past crossed my mind instead.
I was driving home from work and as soon as I turned onto
Kemp Road, a man wearing a ball cap started waving his arms at me. Since I wasn’t
prone to being flagged down by strangers, I made my turn and planned to pass
him by. Instead, he began to wave more frantically, and I rolled down my window
about two inches. “Lady, lady, please stop!” I began to roll forward and he
yelled, “Jimmy Fisher is in the ditch across the road.” I looked and sure
enough, our van was in the ditch.
I turned and looked at the man more carefully. “Leroy?” Sure
enough, it was Jim’s cousin Leroy. I had never seen Leroy without a cowboy hat
and wasn’t expecting him to be in Missouri instead of Idaho. Jim had thought it
would be funny to see if I would stop for someone I didn’t recognize. Leroy
realized that I was just going to drive on, and thought he’d better tell me Jim
was in the ditch.
Why a random practical joke from forty years ago was my first
waking thought this morning is a mystery. As we get older, I guess the
long-term memory is our key to the past.
Life can take some twists and turns. I think the most
important lesson I’ve learned in life is to live in the present. If we worry
too much about tomorrow, we forget to savor the good things that happen today. Dwelling
on the past isn’t good, but happy memories of those we loved and lost makes the
grief bearable.
The world is in some ways a vast sea of humanity and in other
ways a small community. Two of the women at the dialysis clinic took care of
Jim when he was in the nursing home and took care of Harold when he was in
dialysis. I recently saw them when I delivered on a long ago promise to Harold
to give all the professionals at the dialysis clinic gift certificates to Dairy
Queen. After dialysis, Harold and I often went to Dairy Queen and took our
lunch to Liberty Park to watch the squirrels.
That reminds me of another junction. I used to take Jim to
Dairy Queen to buy him a strawberry milkshake, and we often went to Liberty
Park. After he passed away, I went to Dairy Queen one day and the kid at the
window asked me about the guy that used to come with me.
Losing someone you love leaves a hole in your heart that can
only be filled with memories. Following a long illness, you may need to work
hard to find the random memory that makes you smile. Remember the good times,
the happy times, or even the times of struggle.
Holidays, anniversaries, and maybe each day of the world,
grief may try to win the day. We don’t overcome grief; it becomes a part of who
we are.
Grief can make us more determined to live life to the fullest
and to cherish the treasures of family, friends, and love. Each day we are
given is a blessing, and when we are gone, we can hope to be occasionally remembered
in a happy random thought.
Copyright © December 2025 by L. S. Fisher
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