Inside Out

 

First impressions matter. This is the advice we give to people who are job hunting, since a potential employer will size you up in the first seven seconds, or less, of meeting you. In addition to visual impressions, body language, and the tone of a person’s voice present a rapid subconscious evaluation of a prospective employee.

We also want to impress people that interest us romantically. Most of us are skeptical of love at first sight, but it does have a scientific basis. Along with the brain’s positive first impression, a chemical surge can cement the attraction.

The day I met Jim, was a textbook example of love at first sight, and what made it magical was the feelings were mutual. Of course, neither of us was crazy enough to admit it at that moment. Jim told me later that he was supposed to leave for Oregon the next morning, but after he met me, he cancelled the trip.

 Infatuation doesn’t always lead to enduring love. Sometimes the outside attraction doesn’t translate to inside attachment. In our case, our personalities clicked and love at first sight became a forever after.  

In life, one of the greatest mysteries is how the human body and brain gel into relationships. Romantic love may happen quickly, or it may grow from a slow realization that someone you have known for years has won a special place in your heart. No matter how it begins, love forms from the inside out.

No one has a happily ever after in real life, and love will be tested often in a long-term commitment. Finances, emotions, communication, trust, or a combination of circumstances can jeopardize the stability of a relationship.

One of the frequent issues, especially among older adults, is health. When the health of one person fails, another may be thrust into a caregiving role. Any serious health condition has a different set of problems.

When a spouse develops dementia, reciprocal love turns into unconditional love. A person with dementia may become incapable of expressing love outwardly, although they may have a strong emotional attachment inside.

It is important to express your love and show tenderness even if your loved one is nonverbal. After each visit at the nursing home, I would kiss Jim goodbye and say, “I love you.”

Jim had aphasia and rarely spoke, but one night he emphatically said, “I love you too.”

Jim spent the last five years of his life in the nursing home. When I read the Indelible manuscript, I realize those five years were an emotional rollercoaster. I went through all the stages of grief time after time, but I adjusted, and life assumed a different norm.

I think the most important lesson I learned was to make the most of each day. Even the bad days, or sad days, became precious memories. In the darkest times, I was grateful for the love of family and friends.

Philosophies of the best way to attain a fulfilling life are numerous and different for each individual human alive. While I walk this earth, I want to live life to the fullest and find inner peace to reconcile my emotions to the outward turmoil that disrupts my life from time to time.

 

Copyright © September 2025 by L. S. Fisher

http://earlyonset.blogspot.com

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