I set up the card table in the sunroom with its good lighting and relaxing atmosphere. I dumped the puzzle and began to sort the edge pieces. That’s where I ran into my first obstacle. I couldn’t get the edge of the puzzle completed, and knew that if I couldn’t figure that out, I wouldn’t find the pieces to make the pretty Christmas picture.
After about a week of struggling with the “relaxing” project, I decided it needed a different surface. The card table was too soft and the pieces deceptively seemed to fit when they didn’t. As I tried to transfer the puzzle to the kitchen table, the sections that I had pieced together fell apart. Finally, I came to my senses and scooped the puzzle back into the box to give to my aunt. Although she has a knack for putting puzzles together, it seemed almost mean spirited of me.
Attempting that puzzle by myself after a twenty-five year hiatus made me think about the last thousand-piece puzzle I’d put together. Jim and I moved our drop-leaf table to the living room and dumped the puzzle onto it. I planned to work the puzzle with Jim. His dementia had gotten worse, and I thought the puzzle might help him focus.
Prior puzzles had been frustrating for me because Jim could fit pieces together with ease while I struggled. This time, we sat down to work on the puzzle, and Jim tried to force pieces together until frustrated, he stood up and wandered off.
I had forged on alone for several days when Jim walked by, picked up a puzzle piece, and walked off with it. By the time I had completed the puzzle, it was missing several pieces, evidence that Jim had picked up more than one piece.
When a person has dementia, their brain is much like a puzzle with an increasing number of missing pieces. To complete a puzzle, we have to connect all the pieces together. Our brain encodes all the pieces of information learned in our lifetime in 100 billion neurons that interconnect with (an estimated) 100 to 500 trillion synapses. In a healthy brain, these synapses communicate through a complicated process that releases neurotransmitters that allow the brain to function properly.
Alzheimer’s disease and other progressive types of dementia interrupt the synapses and result in neuron degeneration and brain cell death. The loss of neurons affects memory, learning, and reasoning. As the disease progresses, the damage spreads into other areas of the brain causing the brain to shrink.
We care partners have a difficult time accepting that we will become a bystander as our loved one progresses from memory glitches to the unlearning of dementia. As the greedy jaws of dementia swallow up pieces of memory and skills, we cling to the ones that remain. Without all the pieces, a beautiful picture and an amazing mind, fall apart in slow motion.
All I had to offer was love and the best care available. In Jim’s journey, the time came when I realized he needed more care than I could give him at home. When Jim went to live in his new home, our family never wavered in providing loving care for him.
I may give up on a thousand-piece puzzle, but I have never given up on someone I love. Although the final picture didn’t turn out as I hoped or imagined that it would, I feel blessed to have known and loved a man named Jim.
alz.org/sedaliawalk
Copyright ©August 2025 by L. S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
#ENDALZ
1 comment:
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