Flowers

 

Last month, I kept reminding myself that “April Showers bring May flowers.” Seeing  colorful blooms in the flower garden, and sniffing the heady aroma, can make my heart sing with happiness. When a bouquet is given as a gift, it can convey caring, love, or remembrance depending on the occasion.

Jim used to send me flowers from time to time. One time, when asked how he wanted the card signed, he said “your secret lover.” The florist told him that wasn’t a good idea because the recipient might call up wanting to know who sent the flowers. “I guarantee you that she will know who sent them.” And I did.

Another time I was feeling down and like I wasn’t appreciated at work. He sent flowers with a note that said, “I appreciate you. Baumasteric.” Well, there was a woman at work who read the card and just about split apart wanting to know who had sent me flowers.

Although I was always happy to get bouquets of flowers, I think the ones that meant the most to me was when Jim would stop by work and take my car to the gas station. When he returned the key, he often brought me a single red rose from the gas station. That was a win-win—a full tank and a rose that smelled of “I love you.”

Miley Cyrus’ song “Flowers” has a message for anyone who has to learn self-reliance. When I think of those who need to be strong, I think of caregivers. Unconditional love means that a caregiver realizes that at some point, their loved one might not be able to express their love.

We usually think that in order to love someone, he or she must reciprocate the feeling for it to be real. What I learned with Jim was that in the silence brought on by his aphasia, he could not express his feelings. One of my most precious memories was the night when I was leaving the nursing home, I kissed him and said, “I love you.” I was used to no response, but one time he said, “I love you too,” and sounded like he meant it.

Several years ago, the Alzheimer’s Association began to provide pinwheel flowers for the walkers who participated in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Each color has a significance and walker chooses the one that represents their connection to the disease.

A blue flower represents a person living with Alzheimer’s or another dementia. We walk to find a cure for those who carry the blue flowers.

A purple flower is for those who have lost someone to Alzheimer’s or another dementia. I always choose a purple flower because Jim passed away from a rare form of dementia in 2005. His dementia had been diagnosed as “dementia of the Alzheimer’s type” and until the autopsy, we did not know that he had corticobasal ganglionic degeneration. In CBGD the area of the brain that processes information and the brain structures that control movement shrink and nerve cells degenerate and die over time.

 The yellow flower represents a caregiver for a person living with Alzheimer’s, and the orange flower represents someone without a personal connection to the disease, but supports the vision of a world without Alzheimer’s.

The white flower represents the first survivor of Alzheimer’s. We are getting closer to having more than the symbolic white flower at our Walk to End Alzheimer’s.

Research is turning the key to unlock the mystery of Alzheimer’s with current treatments that slow the progression of the disease. Advocates are working diligently to have FDA approved Alzheimer’s treatments covered by Medicare and Medicaid. New treatments promise the precious gift of more time to spend with our loved ones affected by Alzheimer’s.

Until then, we will carry colorful pinwheel flowers as we Walk to End Alzheimer’s once and for all.  

 

Copyright © May 2023 by L.S. Fisher

http://earlyonset.blogspot.com

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