I was driving to town today listening to my
sixties channel on the radio and realized that looking from the inside out, the
sun shone as brightly as it ever did. Suddenly, I realized that for the first
time in years, my body was free of aches and pains. What a blessing to feel normal.
As usual, when I take Cedar Drive, I drove into
the cemetery on the loop that takes me past Harold’s resting place. As I looked
at the inscription, I thought about how blessed I am to have loved him and
known his love. The last five years of his life was filled with medical issues,
and we faced that trying time together. I thought of the late night calls this
time last year when he reached out to me because he knew that if he needed me,
I’d be there for him.
Harold taught me confidence and technical skills.
Although I sometimes thought something was beyond my abilities, he had infinite
patience to teach me. During our marriage, he taught me more about personal
finance and investments than I had ever known. He instilled in me a love of the
land and the importance of crop management. Harold also respected my independence
and supported me in all my various interests. On a personal level, trusted me
completely.
For all his toughness, Harold had a sentimental
and soft side that I think he only showed to his mother, and later to me. I
have a huge box of Hallmark cards that he gave to me to put into words the
feelings in his heart. I was blessed to have Harold in my life.
My thoughts often turn to Jim and the financially
hard years when we lived on love. I suppose that a betting person might have
thought we wouldn’t make it, but who cares what the odds are when life is the
way it should be. We learned to live within our means and found that the
luxuries we sacrificed weren’t even missed. To this day, I have no desire for
overpriced items, and am content with what I have.
From Jim, I learned generosity. We never had much,
but Jim was always willing to share with someone who had less. I always wanted
to save for a rainy day, but Jim cared more for the people without an umbrella.
We enjoyed rides though the country, visiting family, jam sessions, and an
occasional treat to the movies or eating out where we could get five tacos for
a dollar. When life became more settled, we camped in Colorado where we animal
watched, ate ice cream in Estes Park, and window shopped for Pueblo pottery and
storytellers.
Life took quite a turn for us when Jim slipped
into the world of dementia. I missed his sense of humor, storytelling, and the
quiet moments of sitting by a campfire with a cup of coffee and our
conversations about life, faith, and love. Jim changed in many ways, and I
loved him through each step. I knew the Jim that dwelled inside his heart and
mine. I count Jim as one of my greatest blessings.
Of course, we all know that children,
grandchildren, great-grandchildren, brothers, sisters, parents, and extended
family are our lifelong blessings. From birth to old age, when we have family
and friends, we are rich beyond all earthly treasures.
