Pencils and Erasers

I saw a quote a few weeks ago, that said, “If you can’t be a pencil to write someone’s happiness, then try to be the eraser to remove their sadness.” I really like this concept. I stopped and thought about ways to write and erase at the correct moments.

 

To write:

1.  Call or visit a family member or friends. Give the gift of your time.
2.  Invite them to go with you for one of their favorite activities. This can be anything from going to a casino to fishing. If you care about someone, you know what they like to do.
3. Plan a day trip to visit a museum, botanical garden, theme park, craft fair, or quaint town. Take someone to a play, movie, or concert. Be sure it is a performance that resonates with them.
4.  Be kind.

 

To erase:

1. When someone experiences a tragedy, be present. Keep words to a minimum and listen to them. Give comfort and avoid platitudes.
2. Send cards with personal messages of encouragement. Let them know you are there for them and willing to help them through a rough patch. 
3. Once again give the gift of time. Share a quiet cup of coffee, a glass of wine, or reminisce about humorous antics, and be a genuine friend.
4. Be kind.

 

What if you are the person fighting sadness? I can only speak for myself because each individual has to develop his or her own coping strategies. I like to pick up my ukulele and sing a few happy songs. That does wonders for me. I’ve also found reading a good book can take my mind off my troubles. Sometimes, just jumping in the car, turning up the oldies channel, and going for a drive helps me clear my head. I have an underlying layer of optimism that helps me through the tough times.

 

All of these ideas come with a warning. If someone is clinically depressed, you may not be able to do anything that will make them happy. You could wind up bringing yourself down. Jim had PTSD and was often depressed. It took me a long time before I realized I wasn’t the reason he was depressed, and could only do so much to help him.

 

Jim loved to travel and planning a trip, made him happy. He often said, “I need something to look forward to.”  When we were in Estes Park and the Rocky Mountain National Park, he was in his element, especially if we camped in the mountains.

 

Jim also loved to spend time visiting with family. He loved his cousins, uncles, aunts, siblings, in-laws, parents, and friends. He also loved to visit his childhood places and when we were younger, we made numerous trips to Oregon and Idaho.

 

With his music and storytelling, he was his own pencil and eraser. The underlying depression and sadness was always there, but he learned how to cope and find his moments of joy. He had a deep abiding faith and I believe that’s all that kept him moving forward as long as he did.

Be a pencil as often as you can, or an eraser when appropriate, and you can’t go wrong.

 

Copyright © January 2022 by L.S. Fisher

http://earlyonset.blogspot.com

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