“That reminds me of the time we took Colby to Applebee’s when he was little. He looked at the kid’s menu and decided to order his own meal. The first item he ordered was ketchup. Then he ordered fries, and last he ordered chicken fingers.”
Flashback to Branson, Applebee’s: “I didn’t even know chickens had fingers,” I said. Colby just gave me his “silly old grandma” look.
We went to Silver Dollar City where we rode rides and splashed in the water to cool off. Jim and Colby went to play with the Nerf balls and had a good time. Jim would hand the balls to Colby and he would put them in the tube.
Everything was going well until we all had to go to the bathroom. I went into the women’s restroom while Jim watched our bags. When I came out, Jim and Colby went into the men’s, and I sat on a bench close to the door to watch for them.
I waited and waited. Finally, I asked a man to go into the restroom and see if my husband and grandson were inside. He came back out and said they weren’t, but he told me that there was another door on the other side of the building.
Jim was in the early stages of the disease and now he was missing with my grandson. As I was starting to panic and wondering how to get hold of security, they came walking up on the opposite side of the restroom. I believe that Colby had brought him back. After that scary moment, I was ready to leave for the day.
One of the saddest parts of dementia is that Jim was not able to enjoy his grandkids like he could have otherwise. He only knew three of his four grandchildren, and it wasn’t long before they were trying to look after him.
Jim’s dementia affected the entire family. When Whitney was about two
years old, she understood that Grandpa couldn’t go outside by himself because
he might get lost. We were babysitting Whitney one day and decided to go next
door to visit Virginia.
Jim was restless and paced the floor. He casually worked his way toward
the door, and Whitney spotted him. She jumped into the doorway spreading her
arms and legs to barricade the door.
“No, Papa Jim!” she said with all the authority she could muster.
Jim stopped in front of her, turned around, and sat in the recliner.
Virginia must have experienced a mother’s worst nightmare as she watched her son vanish into a dimension that defies the imagination. Throughout our time together, Jim had always been a rock for his mom and dad. He sent his mom an allotment when he was in the military to help them through financial difficulties.
Jim singlehandedly planned and began construction on a small house so his parents could move out of a mobile home that was falling apart. Jim felt an urgency to see that his parents had a decent place to live, and felt that our house would just have to wait. Jim’s dad only lived a few months after moving into the house, and after his death, Virginia lived alone.
Instead of Jim looking after his mom, the circle closed and she began looking after him. When her health failed, other family members along with hired caregivers took care of Jim while I worked.
After Jim was in long-term care, Virginia visited him faithfully often bringing him his favorite foods. I would pick Jim up at the nursing home and take him to Dairy Queen. His favorite meal was the chicken strip dinner with a strawberry milk shake. I’m not sure when “chicken fingers” became “chicken strips,” but at least we don’t have to puzzle over whether chickens have fingers.
To Register or to Donate to the Sedalia Walk: alz.org/sedaliawalk (our team is Jim's Team)
Copyright © August 2024 by L.S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
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